Develop Positive Character Traits

We all want to think of ourselves in the most positive terms possible. We want to stress our positive character traits.

We think of our self as "independent" but don't want to admit that this sometimes means we're "selfish". We might like to call ourselves "ambitions" without realizing that sometimes we're "stubborn". We put tags on ourselves, acknowledging the positive sides of our nature.

Here is an exercise that can give you more insight into who you are and enable you to respond to various situations in your life with a better understanding of your actions.

1. First of all, write down three personal qualities which you feel good about. For example:

• I am dedicated.
• I am dependable.
• I am good at heart.

2. Secondly, add an "alternative reality" to each one of the statements. This means that you should find examples when the opposite of the initial statement is also true. Here’s how it might look:

• I am dedicated to my job, but sometimes I put my personal ambitions ahead of my employers goals.
• I am dependable and trustworthy at my job, but sometimes I break a promise to a friend.
• I am good at heart, but sometimes I speak without thinking and hurt someone's feelings.

3. At this point you should reverse the sentence topics, and even modify some words if you feel it helps. Starting with the negative aspects that accompany your personality will give you more insight and offer you a better perspective on these issues.

Here's how your list may look now:

• I sometimes put my personal ambitions first, but usually I am dedicated to my job and my boss.
• My friends may find me less dependable at times, but when it comes to work I am a person you can count on.
• I sometimes hurt someone's feelings, but I am good at heart most of the time.

Take a look at the last two lists (steps 2 and 3) and read them carefully for a few minutes. Don’t pay attention to the topic of the sentence but try to focus on the meanings your words expressed. Remember the purpose of this little exercise: “black” and “white” are rarely defining for a person. By identifying your duality you have a better chance of appreciating your actions and the responses they trigger.

You have also created a list of three positive qualities and three negative aspects that you believe characterize you. The first step in removing the negative characteristics has already been taken – you identified them.

Now it is time to put the exercise to practical use. Next time you find yourself in a situation where action is required or a decision made, try to remember the exercise. Observe that particular situation and acknowledge your positive features while also analyzing the attached negative side of your nature.

Practice can lead to a natural integration of this exercise in your conscious and subconscious mind. After a while, you may not even need to make a conscious effort to analyze a situation from both perspectives and this process will come naturally. The result will be a strengthening of your positive personality traits.